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Peaceful Parting

By Tracy B. Stewart, CPA, CFP, CDFA

Reprint from Today's CPA, May/June 2005

While she was traveling, Marilyn's husband, Jeff, canceled her credit cards. He also filed child endangerment charges against her. When she returned, authorities put her in a mental health care facility to protect her child. Marilyn was not insane, nor was she a danger to her child. Jeff was filing for divorce, and was legally positioning himself for control of their finances and custody of their young child.

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Denton County Collaborative Professionals Benefits 10 Tips to Handling a Legal Dispute
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Ten Tips to Handling Any Legal Dispute

  1. "Fair” is a matter of perspective. What seems fair to you may not seem fair to the other party. No one is objectively right or wrong about what is or is not fair.
  2. Live up to your own standards. The right thing to do is the right thing to do, regardless of how anyone else is acting.
  3. Find an attorney who fits your style and personality. Remember, you are the boss. Your lawyer should tell you your options, explain the consequences and costs of each choice, and let you decide what to do next.
  4. Treat the financial aspects of your dispute as a business decision. Cut your losses and optimize your gains.
  5. Learn as much about the financial ramifications of your dispute before you meet with the other party: make copies of old records, go through files, consult your accountant.
  6. Look at the big picture. It is easy to get caught up in the small matters that won't make a difference in the long run.
  7. Avoid doing anything that you don't want the other party to know about. Chances are he or she will find out.
  8. Your situation is different from your friends', your neighbors', or your family members'. What worked for them may not work for you. Consider their well-meaning advice as information only.
  9. Wishing things or people were not the way they are is a waste of time and energy. Focus on changing what you can change.
  10. Take care of yourself physically. Find a way to release stress, move your body, and clear your mind.

 

 

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